June 26, 2011

Showing Up at the Pool

At the Y this weekend,  I really wanted to  keep to  myself, and seek my happiness by remaining self-contained. Quiet. Even cry in the shower if I needed to.  I was still suffering around my son's broken leg and my perceived inadequacies.

But before I went to the pool to swim, I went to the potty with my EA reader, my hair free and unfettered.   When I came out of the stall to wash my hands.  a grandmotherly type took one long look at me and said, "Aren't you going to DO your hair?"  My brow furrowed for I was totally perplexed. Had she mixed me up with someone else?  "DO?" I said. "I am going back to get my swim-cap, to protect my hair."   "No," she said. "I mean when are you going to color your hair?" She motioned to my hair which is silver-gray and nearing shoulder length.  I thought, "Dear God, I came here to be still and know you. I am not ready for a confrontation!"    Taking a deep breath, I put on my best  and kindest smile and simply answered, "Oh, I have never done that."  To which she answered, "I will never stop coloring my hair even when I am 80...."   I smiled and replied, "I've been graying since I was in my mid-20's. Started in my temples. And now here I am!"  Darlings, what did she say to this?  "If I had hair like yours, I wouldn't want to color it!" Quite the way to pull back from an awkward place, I'd say. 

This gave me perspective on a long ago conversation I had with my mom who tried to sell me on wearing a wig. She told me I had beautiful hair too.  I needed a second "set" of hair, because they wear wigs like hats in Seattle. I got an inward smile and a bit of understanding. 

Wow, on a day when I felt awfully down on myself,  that conversation and trip down memory lane raised my spirits.  I thank you HP.

I also thank HP for another day in paradise. Today was my birthday and we celebrated it well.

3 comments:

  1. Glad that conversation lifted your spirits! Happy Birthday, Smitty.

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  2. Thanks for stopping by and for adding to the joy of my birthday, Marcia...

    It sure helps me to show up strong and kind when I feel judged, rather than being angry. Or defensive. Now I have a great story to tell, and not a wound to point at.

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  3. Nice. Glad that you got a boost. That can really help! Happy belated birthday too!

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I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~