The reality of the move is beginning to sink in a bit, a tiny bit less unpleasantly.
I had become quite used to a one-day-at-a-time life, here in my Piedmont town, since sinking my roots into "program;" 4 plus years ago now.
Before that, I really lived the story-telling aspect of our work. I felt by telling my story honestly, I would find recovery.
With Uncle W's death, I began to realize some of the stories I was telling myself were really limiting my potential. I was attaching too much to them, setting myself up for repeated calamitous falls.
That is when I fell right into the Today book, began following it closely each day, amazed at how it spoke to my experience. Each reading helped me detach from my personal story, while allowing me greater compassion.
Not long ago, I found myself studying those stories in our EA Big Book. Those stories that told essentials: What people had been like before program, the back-story of their childhoods, a look at the depth and breadth of their emotional suffering. Even a few painful details are in those stories. But when I read them more closely, I saw each had a unique map for how they had used the program. And each had a story of success.
I wanted the success that lasts. I still want it. But I also realize that many times my life is one day, one stone, at a time. So it will be with the move.
One day I would like to write my own story, looking at its successes. I know they are there now, even as I face a move, which calls into question almost every aspect of my current life.
But for now I am living one day at a time, and giving myself credit for each step I take towards this move, which means so much to my family.
Loss, appreciation, grief,oy, adventure, fear...and more.