September 13, 2012

Begin at the Beginning, the Day After 9-11

The EA Today reading for September 12th, was a good one for me. Especially as September Eleventh passed without much anxiety for me.   From the original event, 9-11 had been triggering for me, full of story. Last year, I found myself reliving the event one last time, publicly on my blog. This was my way of  "not regretting the past, nor wishing to shut the door on it."  It did help me to know I was not the only person reliving the emotions of that experience.   It is when my anniversaries are more private, that I need to take great care, to be gentle and affirm myself. 
Here is the gist of the Today reading,
"In the process of learning and growing, I often find myself needing to deal with something I thought I had already [resolved emotionally].
At these times I have rejected myself for being where I was. "I should not be here again," I thought. Slowly I am gaining the humility to understand that the
program offers me greater and greater levels of healing. We only have to be willing to meet honestly the challenges which confront us in order for healing and growth tocontinue."
Yesterday's meditation/prayer is also a Godsend for me,
"[I thank you, God ] for the opportunity You give me to deal more deeply and to experience life in all its abundance."
T. S. Eliot helps me not to shame myself any time I need to return, even when I seem to be reliving the bottom of my emotional barrel.

Eliot, in Little Gidding says, 
 "We shall not cease from our exploration
And at the end of all our exploring 
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."

1 comment:

  1. This is just what I needed tonight. Thank you for being brave enough to post your inner most feelings publicly.


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