October 31, 2013

Thought on Being in an Onlline Recovery Group

This is something I shared in a long ago online group when it was very new and we were learning how to get along in cyberspace. Perhaps it is a bit too preachy and pedantic. I give it over to my HP and your thoughts:

"Today, I accept my emotions... and I have choices in how I think and act.   HP allows me choices: I even have the gift to learn from mistakes.  Not every mistake needs an amends. Sometimes a mistake is a quiet opportunity to realize I am not perfect. Then,  First Things First is to Accept myself as human.

I am grateful for this program. I am grateful for the 4-A's, Awareness, Acceptance, Action, Attitude.

I am grateful that in face-to-face groups we have a group conscience that allows us to express our differences. It gives us a voice in reaching decisions together. Group conscience guides us in the way we work together. It means that no one person imposes their will on others or on the way any of us does our program.

I am grateful to comprehend that I do not have power over others perceptions (another version of POOP, that has been playing in my head lately).  

I am grateful today that I can take the opinion of another person, and chose how to consider them for myself.  

I have received feedback in shares, and find that 99 percent of the time I am truly grateful for it.  Sometimes the feedback is helpful sometimes it is not.  I usually write back a thank you and look for the good, regardless.  

Very rarely, feedback can be filled with shoulds or comparisons. When it is,  I can  learn more about the other person and step away from taking the words personally. After all, I can only share bits of my story  and no one can know the whole me, here on loop. 

The delete button exists here for a reason.  But for me, that delete key has never given me permission to WRITE a person off. It simply helps me let go of communication that could go more awry if I read the other person's words over and over, and use my own words in reaction. 

If I feel I must correct someone else with a share... or if I feel guilty after saying something I regret,  a trusted program friend or sponsor can help me reflect. They can help me reason things out when I am feeling resentful, or encourage me to find a healthy way to communicate. Or even to just let it be, and maintain my serenity, by nurturing myself or doing a mini-inventory.  

It has been said that 90 percent of life is showing up--but the other 10 percent is key. Am I willing to accept the situation, before I take action? Is my attitude kind, appreciative, open minded?  

~In love and peace and a pinch of pepper

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I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~