Sometimes, they validate my basic goodness, even when I struggled and hurt the most. And that feels darn good too.
As I finish my day, I am grateful I was NOT able to return a phone call from my mom. I figure she (or I) were protected from a bad encounter with a random meteor. (Seriously, I do pray all is well).
Lately when mom and I talk it is pretty much OK, and that is really something big. Especially in light of some of what I can read or remember from my past...
I believe in dealing with conflicts in relationship. I tend to find it is worth it. I try to share that belief with others whose faith is not as strong.
In some of my conversations with my mom, I would try to be proactive when she seemed bent on creating unnecessary conflict between us. I used to repeat back slowly some of what she said so she could correct herself if she liked, and when I knew she was heading towards ugly. I would speak very neutrally. Or say, "I beg your pardon," or "Would you like to repeat that?", when she used bad language.
There are times when I must get off the phone before my head pops off. One thing I have said, was, "Oh the conversation is degenerating. I am sorry I have to go. " And then I go!
If it seems important to persevere on the phone, I might take notes about the conversation. Especially when it seems really convoluted, or brings up an old theme that is heading towards "doing my inventory. I write when I am on the phone or slightly after. (That keeps me busy and out of trouble.) Later, I can write creative dialogue using the language of my mom. Or a poem. It can be constructive. Such real language can be a God-send for a writing exercise. So, even fun, sometimes.
Three years ago, my mom calmly told me she would like to send me a wig! Oh did she go to great lengths to convince me. When I did not get mad, it turned out to be a quite a conversation. I am still working on that dialogue and have used it in a humor talk. My interest in working on this story further was rekindled when my mom suddenly resumed the conversation just a fortnight ago. She is sending me a wig for Christmas! I just could not say no, I was TOO curious to see what it will look like.
So yes, I am grateful for humor. Thanks HP that You gave me the gift of finding it. I call it Humor Power. Humor is the Power that makes even painful learning, worth the price, for me.