March 25, 2014

Friends in Limbo

I'm not speaking to my friend K much, lately.  Not because I don't want to, but because I am afraid to.

Calling her, right now, means butting into the most challenging journey of her life. I think.

Calling her has been a comfort, a balm, a reassurance, for years now. How many years? I am not sure where to begin counting. She and I have only met once, face to face, long enough to say hi and to exchange a hug. She has told me that I am like a little sister to her. I think I finally  know what that means. Even though I have never had, nor been, a little sister by birth.

K calls me, of course, though not as often as I call her. Because she is the closest person to a Sponsor that I have ever had in my program walk.  (I suspect, Sponsees call more often than Sponsors do, as a rule.)  

But K never took on that "assignment." She always tells folks who ask if she will sponsor them, that she prefers friendships. And she means it.  In the best way.

So now, my Sponsor Friend is navigating one of those kind of cancers that only get attention when they are well on their way. Quiet cancers that show up suddenly, and cause all kinds of havoc. 

I can't imagine not calling K, at the drop of a hat (but before seven in the evening her time, she's an early bird).  I can't imagine not calling her spontaneously, because that is the only way she would have it. Nothing prearranged.

But now it's all changed. Now I wait on a reply to a text (when I dare) and try not to be an intruder.

Today she met her oncologist; he feels like a good guy to her. Soon, there may a diagnosis to go on. I am praying for the universe to its healing work...

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